The 'Magic Phrase' That Builds Emotional Intelligence in Children, Study Finds

Reem Raouda, a licensed child psychologist, conducted a longitudinal study examining more than 200 families across diverse socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds to identify communication patterns associated with emotional intelligence in children. The research focused on parent responses during moments of emotional distress, such as tantrums, frustration, or sadness. Among hundreds of observed interactions, one phrase consistently stood out: 'I see you’re feeling [emotion]—what happened?' Children whose parents used this phrasing demonstrated 34% higher scores on standardized emotional regulation assessments compared to peers whose parents used generic responses like 'What’s wrong?' or 'Calm down.' The study found that the phrase not only validated the child’s internal experience but also encouraged verbal articulation of feelings, a foundational skill in emotional intelligence. Children who were consistently met with this response also reported 28% greater confidence in discussing emotions with caregivers and peers. The impact extended beyond emotional development. The study observed that children exposed to this language were 22% less likely to escalate emotional outbursts during transitions or conflict situations. Educators involved in the research noted increased classroom participation and improved peer conflict resolution among these children. The findings suggest that simple, intentional language can significantly shape a child’s emotional toolkit during early development. While not directly tied to financial markets, the research holds implications for parenting education programs, early childhood curricula, and consumer-facing wellness products aimed at family development. Companies offering parenting workshops, mental wellness apps, and educational content may see increased demand for materials incorporating this evidence-based communication technique.